Love is a Powerful force

Love is a powerful force

I need to gently remind myself of this daily

Turn to my love for myself

Stop the stories I run through my head of the self hatred I have for myself

I learnt this from a young age

To hate myself

To tear myself to shreds

To abuse myself

To take myself into the darkest places

Spiralling into self hate

Not wanting to be here

Listing all the ways in which I had failed in my life

Was a failure

Concentrating on those times

Looking for proof

Eating myself up from the inside out

With this hatred of myself

I tried everything to escape it

mostly alcohol

that just made it worse

and the darkness darker

Nothing worked

It would take digging deep

and loving myself through all the times these feelings and emotions would come up

I have had to be rigorous with myself

Stop myself from going down that path continually

It is so familiar though

To beat myself about the head

Punish myself

Be horrid to myself

I do my best to meet those emotions

Let them arise

and face them head on

with Love

I try to catch myself before I go down that path

and if I do, that is ok too

i just do my best to come back to love

Love of myself

As Love is a Powerful force.

~ Lisa - Jane Myers