It's been just 1 month since I landed in the region
Otaki - my ancestral lands
from the North , Mangawhai
I kept feeling like I was trying to aclimitize
I've moved around alot in my lifetime
So I thought I would just slip easily into this move
The first two weeks were quite high speed
and for me a lot of outward activities and connecting
with whanau (family) friends and new friends and the whenua (land)
I held my first Scream Club here at Otaki beach
which was both intimate, sacred and cathartic
with the awhi (support) of the sea, the whenua and good people
All the while feeling like I was trying to aclimtize
like I had been flying at 10,000 feet before Otaki
and now how I had to fly at a different altitude
and adjust myself
and how it felt to me
not to be able to find my slip stream
and start flowing in it
Then it hit the deep purging in the physical form of a virus thing
With a hella knarly big ass cough
that has lurked around for a couple of weeks
There were a few days where I was laid flat
and I felt like I was falling down a dark void
In shamanic terms what I was experiencing is called a "dismembering"
-meaning a fundamental, symbolic archetype of spiritual death and rebirth
experienced during a shamanic initiation, illness, or ecstatic journey.
bascially the shedding of an old identity to make way for the new...
Even though I knew this at the time
there were moments where it felt scarey
like I was being shoved head first into a deep shoot
into the dark, the void
My arms trying desperately to grasp on to anything familiar
to no avail
trusting this process in my new surroundings was testing
I could feel myself inside and out deeply shedding an old skin
but not yet feeling my new skin there with me
yet
and layered amongst this experience was a deep grieving
of my old life
It was in those darkest moments
I felt my Tupuna (ancestors) and beloved whanau (family) on the other side with me
as flecks of light
and hope
during this the first snow fell on my Maunga (mountain)
heralding in the Winter
it felt deeply significant to be laying at the feet of my maunga
ancestral lands
during this process
I am getting a small sense of the other side of this now
where I am living at the moment I am surrounded by the most beauful Maori art
and treasures
amongst many things I am looking forward to reigniting this side of me again
I let my Artist side sleep for a while
But my "way through" from experiencing life with big feelings
and big experiences was always diving into Art
and using movement to help me to process my experiences
on Tuesday night I start dance here at the local Hall
Oh how my love of waltzing and foxtrot and all those old fashionsed dances has always stayed with me
The dancer in me can't wait
Thank you for being with me on this journey I hope you may have found something
useful or meaningful in here for YOU too
Arohanui
(((hugs))))))
Lisa
lisajanemyers.com
#matekite #shamanichealing #psychicmedium #maori #otaki
